Us & Them

Original post: January 14, 2012

Dahlia Beauty ©2011 Lora Fisher Photography

One of the pitfalls of Social Media is how easy it is to engage in what I call 'Hit & Run & Hide': tossing a zinger and then getting lost in the crowd as fast as possible. This holdover from elementary school, in this realm or any other, will ultimately leave you alienated.

Building respectful engagement as the baseline for Social Media interaction is where the fun begins. Anything below basic respect is hurtful and is likely to come back to haunt you.

A recent interaction with someone with whom I disagreed is a perfect example. My position, that the development of mass transit has long-term benefits for the region, was ridiculed. I was then told to “keep on drinking the Kool-Aid”.

When faced with a bully you have two choices: push back or surrender, and surrender isn't an option at all. A bully does not ‘get’ passivity and only sees it as an invitation to bully more. Teaching this to our children is imperative. A bully understands aggression, but is confused by assertion.

Amazing how quickly he disappeared when I confronted him with this question:
What’s the point of Social Media if there is no real exchange of ideas?

Rhetorical, yes, but also begging for an answer. This platform for the exchange of ideas is too often used for ridicule, or worse. As in the rest of life, being on our toes is best. Countering hate, emphasizing the good, offering support, confronting bullies … the same stuff that we must deal with any time we’re in a public setting, is also here.

‘Us vs Them’ is an archaic concept as worn-out as the practice of stoning and a throwback, pardon the pun, to a time when our survival was dependent upon conforming to the dictates of our tribe. Way back in the day, if we dared to stray outside of the social structure of our small societies, we were shunned or exiled, or worse. It was imperative to the integration and success of the group that we behave in a manner that served to bolster the cohesiveness of the group. We spoke the same language, followed the orders of the leader, married who was chosen for us, and never strayed (except, of course, when we did).

This same structure is observed in gangs in developed nations such as the U.S., as well as within developing nations, and provides members with an identity outside of the dominant culture. It’s what is at the root of the Palestinian-Israeli conflict over territory and customs, and our own conflicts with Arab cultures. Striving for territory, resources, and cultural dominance drives and embeds the pattern of conflict for generations.

Those who engage in hate speech and the denigration of others have no interest in raising the quality of conversation above the tribal — us versus them — mindset that gets its juice from metaphorically stoning those with whom they disagree.

I suggest, respectfully, that it’s time to drop the stone.

Dahlia Beauty Too
©2011 Lora Fisher Phohography

Play nice! 

This is such a fun and engaging way to relate,
why not make an effort to make it even better?

It is fascinating to consider that while some will take their painful histories and use it to bully and intimidate others, others will use it to launch a life of setting things right.

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